Here are a few things I have been meaning to share with you all…
1) For the past couple of months, I have been mildly obsessed with watching Xteeener’s YouTube make-up videos. I stumbled upon her randomly while searching for tips on how to tweeze my eyebrows (yes, I had too much time on my hands), and I have been hooked ever since.
Xteeener is an aspiring make-up artist. She’s young, pretty and a lot of fun. Her videos are mostly tutorials mixed with product reviews. I have already (amazingly) learned SO much from watching her! Like who knew that eyeshadow primer potion would kinda change my life?
Here is her latest video of her best products list for 2011.
2) Okay, on to the next item of business. Let’s just preface this by saying, the score is now:
My Mother-in-law: 1, Carly – 0.
Remember the post where I mocked my MIL for giving me a pink fertility toilet? How could you forget it? Those rather unflattering images of me sitting on that pink toilet are probably burned in your brains.
Well, I stumbled upon this article in the LA Times awhile back, and I did a triple take. The newest little trend to take L.A. spas by storm is…wait for it…
VAGINAL
STEAM
BATHS
Ummm, what?!
Apparently squatting over a steam toilet is a normal fertility practice in Korea. Why did no one tell me this?! The article even describes it as a “centuries-old Korean remedy.”
Oh, dear MIL, I bow down to you. I’m not worthy.
3) L and I saw Black Swan. We are both big Natalie Portman fans, but unfortunately we weren’t big fans of this film. I won’t say much more as I don’t want to give it away for people that haven’t seen it. But, I will say that all I could think throughout the entire movie was that Natalie and Mila Kunis needed to eat a boatload of greasy cheeseburgers STAT. Their skinniness was distracting to me, which is odd because I don’t normally notice stuff like that.
4) Warning: Debbie Downer Pregnancy News Ahead.
Yet another month has passed, and still no pregnancy. This probably deserves an entire post, but I don’t really want to sit around whining and feeling sorry for myself anymore than I already am. Not getting pregnant month after month is frustrating. I am really starting to feel the weight of it all.
I updated you guys at the end of last year saying that I had met with a new OBGYN. She said we could start fertility testing right away, or we could wait a few months while I paid attention to my body and figured out if I was ovulating or not. I told her I wanted to fertility test right away. But I guess I lied, because I haven’t been back to see her.
Truth be told, I am still HOPING/praying/doing voodoo dances that we can get pregnant on our own. Call it naive or stupid. I know we are losing precious time, but I really want to believe that we can do this without all the poking, prodding, drugs, and sterile doctors’ offices. Ugh. If we have to get fertility help, we have to, and I’m fine with it. It’s just that this is a lot more tedious and heart-wrenching than I ever thought it would be.
It’s confusing, too. Some days I’m up. Some I’m down. Sometimes I’m emotional. Other times, I’m like a robot.
I shift gears pretty quickly these days. For example, one minute I want to watch make-up tutorials on YouTube, the next I’m lamenting about my sometimes seriously annoying existence.
See? Even reading through this post leaves me somewhat perplexed. What the HELL am I talking about?!
Whew.
Matthew & Rachel Hughes
I don't know remember how I randomly came across your blog but I have really enjoyed it. Mainly because when I first came across it I could really cope with you and understand your point of view. But I will give you these encouraging words…My husband and I tried desperately to have children for two years. We have had a miscarraige, we have done the ovulation prediction kits, fertility testing, and a couple rounds of Metformin. Finally, two + years later we are expecting our first child. You can do it. Get in tune with your body. Get a full months worth of ovulation prediction kits (if you can afford to) Get a calander and keep track of EVERYTHING. Write it down every night. Even if the detail seems to small. You will figure out what is going on and why. My last suggestion may be going a little too personal, but get a positioning pillow to have sex with. And try having sex with your pelvis in the air and stay there for a while after sex. It gives those little men an extra chance at making a miracle. Hope this helps.
Becs
Oh my gosh, I totally get this. I know I probably need fertility testing since we have been trying for 9 months now but I have only had 4 periods so far. But I just keep putting it off because I don't want to have a "fertility problem" and I want it to happen naturally.
There are some days where I am able to push everything to the back of my mind and not worry but then other days it takes everything I have to not break down.
I really hope you get some answers soon and that you get pregnant. I have my fingers crossed for you!
Chic 'n Cheap Living
Hoping to send you some fertile vibes (err does that make sense odd as it sounds?) My best friend is going through IUI now and I can only imagine how tough it is. You are such a sweet, smart and sassy lady so hope you can add to your family soon.
AZPartyMamma
I saw a blogher post about the steam baths and immediately thought of your pink toliet and ALMOST linked you to the blog post, but then didn't LOL. We "tried" for 1 year with & without fertility treatments (I took femara because I have PCOS and don't ovulate). It was almost 3 full years of unprotected relations. It happened after I had given up on ever having another baby. I hope you go back in soon and see the doctor to make sure there isn't anything serious and then I will send all my prayers and thoughts your way that you are next.
AmyJean {Relentless Bride}
I've missed reading your blog in 2010 and am making a point to keep up with my fave bloggers in 2011! Your MIL is hilarious. So like my mom (did you read the Amy Chua article in WSJ about "why chinese moms are superior"? I blogged about it today, love to know your thoughts). The little things they say make me giggle… i.e., my mom told me that i'm failing in my duties to my in-laws with not giving them a son and they may never say that to me but she must tell me this (she said this like months after the wedding, we're not even at 1 yr yet of being married)… You just almost have to remove yourself and laugh at the amusement of it… but steam baths? don't they say avoid hot temperatures? interesting… my peeps come up with some crazy stuff.
As for the baby front… I'm with you on the "getting pregnant on our own"… we're in the same boat, but this past month has revealed a lot about my own state of the body and now we're in the know. Definitely keep your hopes up and remember, timing is everything – so when the time is right it will happen… maybe with a lot of work on your end or maybe just "on its own"… I'm rooting for ya!
Jodi
I think you should go to the dr and get the tests done just to know if there is an issue or not. If not then you just keep trying! 😉 But at least if there is you can do something about it. And just remember that something will work out and there are many ways to become a parent!
Stephanie
I'm obsessed with Xteener's videos, and she's gotta be, like 10 years younger than I am. She's so adorable!
I will be with you crossing my fingers for my own fertility, when we hopefully start trying in a few months. I hate the fact that it's one of those things you never know if you can do until you start trying.
thelessthandomesticgoddess
@Matthew & Rachel Hughes: Thank you for your kind words! Congratulations on your pregnancy!! Your story gives me a lot of encouragement, especially during the tough times. I am adding your blog to my reader!
@Becs: I am sorry to read that you are dealing with some similar issues as me. We can be each other's support systems! The ups and downs of infertility (hate that word!) can be difficult. I have my fingers crossed for you, as well 🙂
@Chic n' Cheap Living: Aww, thanks, A. Your support means a lot!
@AZPartyMamma: Hahaha! That's so funny that you saw an article about the toilet 🙂 Thank you for the encouragement. I plan to go back in for the fertility testing soon!
@AmyJean: Good to see you back, Amy! We seem to lost touch since our weddings 🙁 I need to read your post about the Tiger Mom book, because I have definitely formed some opinions about it. And you aren't "failing" your in-laws! I am thinking good thoughts for you and your health 🙂
@Jodi: You're right. I think the worst part is the doubt and the worry of not knowing. I have got to push myself to get back to my OBGYN! Thanks for the little nudge 🙂
@Stephanie: I know, I'm MUCH older than Xteeener, too 🙂 Good luck with TTC!