It’s been over a year since I deactivated my Facebook account. How do I know this? Because I’ve been counting the days on my desk calendar.

Just kidding!

I’m not that much of a loser. Jeez. I was cleaning out old emails, and I noticed my deactivate notice was dated April 2010. I was shocked when I realized that meant I haven’t been a member of Facebook for over a year. Wowee!

Being off of Facebook for a year has been interesting. Like anything in this life, it has its pros and cons. I’m not writing this post to persuade you to deactivate your account, nor to make you feel bad for being a member, if you are. I’m writing this post as a reflection of sorts, and a way to sort out how I feel about being away from something that was such a big part of my life for awhile. Yes, it got bad, and I got way too involved. You’ve got to admit – it’s quite easy to become addicted to it. No? Just me? Ok.

When I quit, it was in reaction to a series of events that pissed me off. I quit in anger. But like any good junkie, I assumed I’d be back at some point for my next fix. Strangely, it didn’t happen. In the beginning, I was really afraid that I was “missing out” on “so much” by not popping back in. However, at the same time, I was also gaining strength knowing that each day that passed was another small victory in avoiding unnecessary bullshit.

As the months flew by, I fought off a few huge temptations to peek. I wanted to know what people were up to. I wanted to know what friends were referring to when I would hear, “Did you see what so-and-so posted on FB?!” Heck, a few times I’ve wanted to brag about things going on in my life, post pictures, etc. But, I didn’t. Each time I was tempted to rejoin that world, I remembered why I had quit.

I remembered how much better it was for me to not know what that acquaintance from 1998 was doing with his/her life these days. Because really, does it matter? Back in the day, I was a Facebook friend whore. I had hundreds of friends, most of whom I would have never re-connected with had it not been for Facebook. I think people exist at certain times in your life for a reason. People come and they go. No sense in dredging most of them up.

Sure, I could re-join and delete all of those people that don’t matter. I actually thought about doing that. Then I realized that was a lot of work, and Facebook really didn’t mean that much to me anymore. I had survived long enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

To this day, I still don’t know if the ‘book is gone from my life forever. Never say never, right? But, this year has taught me a lot about friendship. It has taught me a lot about what is important in life. The people who really matter are here. When people want to know about my life, and I want to know about theirs, we find ways other than Facebook to connect. Thankfully, it is the communication era, and there are dozens of ways to connect with others.

So, I guess the point of this post is to let you know that it’s possible to leave Facebook, and not fall off the edge of the planet. I’m living proof. πŸ™‚

Again, if Facebook is a great thing in your life right now, rock on and more power to you! But, it wasn’t for me. End of story. (Although I have thought about putting my blog up on Facebook. I like the power to “like” people, places, and things. That seems fun! Here we go again. FB haunts me.)

It’s Friday, kids. Have a great weekend! Enjoy yourselves.

thelessthandomesticgoddess

11 Comments

  1. Reply

    Makes Me Blush

    June 10, 2011

    I quit FB for two weeks and it felt SO GOOD. This is the PERFECT summary: "People exist at certain times in your life for a reason. People come and they go. No sense in dredging most of them up." and "each day that passed was another small victory in avoiding unnecessary bullshit". Yes, yes, yes. I don't know why I ever rejoined, honestly. I feel like Facebook causes so much undue stress. It's great to be able to be connected, but a lot of times you have to dredge through so much annoying bullshit that it's just not worth it. Great post! Off to deactivate!

  2. Reply

    Anonymous

    June 10, 2011

    That would be WHY I wasn't friends with you on facebook anymore. I thought maybe I deleted you by accident, or you deleted me, or something!

    Meh whatever works for you, works for you! I'm on it, but I try to be aware that EVERYTHING I post on there is in public domain!

    ~Krista (can't sign in AGAIN on google!)

  3. Reply

    Alycia

    June 10, 2011

    I have had the same facebook removal thoughts myself. It's not that anything terrible or traumatic has happened, but that I see myself distancing away from what I thought were really good friends and it hurts my feelings everytime I see it. It's like we are all in 5th grade again and picking teams for dodge ball. Except, instead of dodge ball, it's vacations or dinners. Who would have thought it could hurt so much?

    .. I use facebook now as mostly a way to check in with international family. If it wasn't for that, I think I'd be out. Maybe I still might.

    Good post!

  4. Reply

    hemborgwife

    June 10, 2011

    I have my facebook active but rarely use it for day to day life. It is mainly for overseas family as it is easy to show them what you are up to that way.

  5. Reply

    thelessthandomesticgoddess

    June 10, 2011

    @Krista: Have you tried signing into Blogger via Google Chrome rather than Internet Explorer? I also had trouble signing in earlier this week. When I used Chrome, I somehow got my profile back. Might be worth a try?

    @hemborgwife: Given that you are moving thousands of miles away, I think you might be in the camp of people that kinda NEEDS Facebook to stay connected! Good luck again with the move! πŸ™‚

  6. Reply

    the irie mommy diaries

    June 10, 2011

    Facebook scarred the crap out of me the other day – I uploaded photos for my sister and it automatically tagged everyone when I hit publish. I've since read that they're going to be investigated for this new practice – it may violate privacy laws or something. I mostly use my Facebook to promote my business now – I'm getting rid of personal photos and all that

  7. Reply

    Geek in Heels

    June 10, 2011

    I've quit Facebook in the past too, (I think almost for a year?) but ended up returning. And my #1 reason for returning? All those giveaways and contests that are ONLY enter-able (is that even a word?) through Facebook! Sure, I missed being out of the loop, seeing pictures of friends and family, etc, but that honestly was my #1 reason for returning and yes I feel kinda shallow admitting it.

    I too, quit FB for the same reasons you stated. And while I vowed that I would not let it have the same effect on me, I've sadly found that it has. I am also susceptible to the "Facebook effect" of making one sad (see http://www.slate.com/id/2282620/ ). As such, I've consciously began to use it less and less in the past couple of months and I really do feel better about it.

  8. Reply

    Cathleya

    June 13, 2011

    I use facebook primarily for self promotion. Haha. I can see how it is very addicting but I for some reason don't feel the need to check it more than once or twice a week so it's not really a strain on my life…but you can absolutely bet that once it becomes one, I will deactivate! Like you said, I don't think anyone's really missing out on anything by not being on it. My husband doesn't have an account and he functions like quite the normal human being. πŸ™‚

  9. Reply

    Vanessa

    June 13, 2011

    I think it's awesome that you deactivated FB. I think about it often but I never seem to go through with it. One day, I'm sure I will get tired of the FB drama and deactivate. One day. 8)

  10. Reply

    Denise

    June 14, 2011

    Good for you!!

    I'm admittedly addicted to FB, but living two states from family and my oldest and dearest friends is my primary reason for having it. That and self-promotion of my blog and photos.

    I have several friends here who aren't on FB at all as well. And somehow they STILL always keep up with what is going on… proof you don't NEED FB to stay in the loop. You just have to have a heads up and open ears.

    But, like I said, I use it to keep family and friends in the loop of my life. Its so much easier to post photos on FB (friends only, always!) than email them. That sort of thing.

  11. Reply

    Mo

    June 14, 2011

    I used to never go on FB, and the boy actually hates how public everything is on there for acquaintances/coworkers/people we know in the Real World (he doesn't even want me saying we're married on the dang thing) BUT I've been on FB in full force to stay in touch with all of my classmates in my online master's program. It's a great way outside of "class" to get to know one another!

    More power to your FB deactivation!

LEAVE A COMMENT

RELATED POSTS