I worry a lot about keeping my voice authentic on this blog. Throughout the years, many have praised me for being “honest” and “keeping it real.” I thrived off of those compliments, and still very much do. However, when you are tackling mammoth problems like infertility and chronic health issues, it’s hard to remain true to yourself and not feel like a major wet blanket.
Things like infertility and chronic health problems don’t scare easily. They tend to hang on. Even when an infertile woman gets pregnant, it seems she is still riddled with concern and worry that goes beyond the cares of an average pregnant woman. If I’m ever lucky enough to be pregnant, I’m sure I will worry every single day. Chronic health problems? Well, they’re chronic. That explains that.
I often struggle about what to share on here and what not to. I still haven’t decided how much I will reveal about the next phase of our fertility journey because (1) it’s going to be a very exhausting process and (2) what if the outcome is grim? At the risk of sounding pathetic, I wonder what you all will think of me. Did I not try hard enough? Is my life just a constant string of bad luck? Doesn’t she ever have anything positive to discuss?
It’s hard to strike that balance. Actually, it’s been tough to strike this balance on my blog and in my real life.
Sometimes I feel like I have already revealed too much; that I have forced everyone on this endometriosis/infertility/mental road trip of mine, and some of you are begging to get off at the next stop. Some of you have already gotten off. Others are sticking around just to be polite. This started as a life blog, then became a wedding blog, and now it’s what? At times, it is a blog that very few of you originally signed up to read.
I can’t promise anyone a happy ending. I can’t promise anyone an adorable baby, a beautiful house, or a closet full of designer clothes. I wish my life were filled with all the tender, picture perfect moments I see on other blogs. But, that’s just not my life right now. There are some great moments in between all the chaos, but there is still a whole bunch of weirdness.
Lately, I’ve been questioning where I am going with this blog. I’ve been questioning what we will do if fertility treatments don’t work. I’ve been questioning where I am going with my life. So actually, this exercise in figuring out what my blog has evolved into, is also an exercise in figuring out what direction my life is going in.
shutterbugwife
Oh hun. I know how you feel. I am really, really struggling with my personal blog. It seems like all I write about is fertility stuff and even I'm getting tired of it. I don't know if this would make sense for you, but have you thought about making a separate blog for the fertility stuff? I obviously have no problem reading about everything you are going through because it helps me feel less alone, but if you don't think it's a good idea, maybe another blog could be an option.
I have two blogs; a personal one and a photography one and it's nice to keep them separate. A warning though, sometimes it's a pain in the butt to have two blogs to keep up with.
You could also just say screw it and blog about whatever you want. You may lose some readers but you will probably gain even more, especially those that are going through things similar to you.
I hope you figure something out that works for you. Just know that I care about you and everything you are going through so even if you don't blog everything, I'm going to pester you to stay up to date! 🙂
Msimon
Your blog is one of my favorites and I am rooting for you SO HARD in the baby department! I personally think that if you want to share your story, then you should and I'll be happy to read it…Mara/Mrs Trailmix
Alycia
It is your blog. It is everything you want it to be.
And it is still very much a life blog- right now your life consists of trying to be a healthier you while battling infertility and other health issues. That is your life. There is nothing "wrong" with that. I very much enjoy your posts- even if they aren't "happy." If you were happy all the time I would wonder what the hell you were on :o)
Only you can decide the content of your blog. I, for one, am not going anywhere and truly look forward to read what is going on with you and how you are combating your "issues."
Geek in Heels
I second what Mara said above. I anticipate each one of your posts, infertility-related or not, and am rooting for you from the other side of the nation! I truly appreciate your honesty and thank you for putting such a vulnerable topic out in the open for anyone to read. That being said, if any part of sharing your journey makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't do it. Because as much as I love your candidness, I want you to be happy first! Every blogger tends to question the direction of their blog as their life changes, and because this is YOUR space, you should do what you want to do with it. 🙂
Ashley
I love your blog! I love it because I can feel you are genuine, and that's why I enjoy reading your posts (even if they aren't as happy as you want them to be…it's refreshing because life is NOT picture perfect.) I think you are doubting yourself because on many blogs the only parts you are given to read are parts where there are good moments. I'm guilty of it too. I guess in internet land you (that's a general you) can kind of "filter" out that argument you had with your husband, or that shiteous week at work. You are a brave person to put yourself out there, and I admire that. Whatever you decide to do, just remember you stayed true to yourself and how important that is, in life's ups and it's downs. I hope you find a solution that works best for you, and I wish you the best of luck. If you keep blogging you will at least have me as a reader!
Dead Flowers
I think that you have to keep blogging and keep blogging in a way that feels organic to you. I bet there have been so many women touched by what you've written about your struggles. I know that I'll keep reading whatever path this blog takes!
AubreyRose @ My Simple Everyday
Love your blog. Life happens and it's not always filled with rainbows and unicorns, so whatever happens, we hope you include us in your journey. I'll be reading…
Jen @ Living a Brigher Life
I also really enjoy reading your blog and I think that there are probably more people than you realize who you are helping through their own infertility issues. I hope you continue to share as much as you feel comfortable and know you will continue to get support and positive thoughts and prayers sent your way from me and all of your other loyal readers!
Anonymous
Maybe it's because I'm going through some of the same challenges, but at this point in my life I am MOST interested in reading blogs like yours. It's a relief to know that other people are struggling and their lives don't all look like a perfectly styled magazine photo. As long as this is useful to you, please keep blogging! It's definitely useful to me.
Try Anything Once Terri
This is your space. Really. You have the right to write about whatever you want. Besides, I think your clothes are fabulous, which is another reason I read. 🙂 Seriously though, do what feels most comfortable for you. I think we all can tell how genuine you are. You are very brave for sharing so many of the hard parts of life with us.
Anonymous
I love your blog and I appreciate that you're writing about some incredibly difficult topics other women would be too afraid to confront! Like several others have said, I'm rooting for you and L! : )
kim
I followed you here from Weddingbee… and although I never tend to comment, I always look forward to seeing a new post pop up in my reader. I personally cannot relate to your infertility issues, however your health posts have never caused me to consider abandoning your blog. As the previous posters have said, I too am rooting for you (and all others like you). I am currently pregnant and honestly your blog reminds to not take for granted what I have been blessed with.
parkerhausroles
Rooting for you too and like Jenny I look forward to your posts no matter what the topic.
Amanda
I love your blog. You are real. You say what you think. You have the courage to say the things that I wish I could say out loud. Thank you.
Anonymous
I followed you on Weddingbee, and stumbled onto your blog later on way after your wedding and to be honest, while I enjoyed reading your posts as Miss Glitter, this blog is SO much more real and interesting! I'm not trying to get pregnant, and I know nothing about life on Paxil, but I love that you educate me on these things in such an engaging manner. I adore reading your posts even when they aren't in any way related to my current life and I hope you will continue to keep up the blog!
Anna
I found you through WeddingBee and I have been reading for several years now … this is my first time commenting. I'm sorry I haven't commented sooner! I've always just enjoyed reading your entries from afar but felt compelled to leave a note of encouragement today to let you know that I love your blog even more so now because of your brutal honesty and transparency in all areas of your life. The women in my family have had a history of PCOS and struggling with infertility so I find comfort in reading about your experience because I am quite positive I will have to deal with this as well once I try conceiving. It is a couple of years down the line for me as I am not engaged or near marriage at all … but nonetheless I find encouragement from your posts. So I want to thank you for sharing about your experience because it has definitely helped me as well as many others — I am sure. As long as you keep blogging — I will keep reading! 🙂
honey my heart
i love your blog and have always loved your blog. what attracts me is the honesty and your voice. no matter what, know that the blog community supports you and is rooting for you.
-J.Darling
I think your blog is a life blog. Sometimes part of that journey is getting married. Sometimes it's vacations. Sometimes it's sickness. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it is a search for direction.
Whatever you choose to do, you have lots of love and support in your life. I would hope no one would pass judgement on your choices. Your view is uniquely yours and your journey is uniquely yours. (I'm sure people would think we 'gave up too easily' if My Sailor and I go the adoption route in 2013. I know I need to get in shape before I feel confident in getting off the pill.)
Katie
Oh my friend, I love your blog! I truly appreciate your honesty and your willingness to share your life, sunshine and storms, with us. I think you are so brave for putting yourself out there with your blog, and I am always reading what you write, regardless of topic.
<3 you!
Mo
I keep coming back because you are REAL and I love that, no matter what you are talking about. I hope you find comfort, Carly. Big hugs and lots of love!
Brandi
We love you Carly. I don't always comment but I always look forward to reading whatever new post is up whether it's happy or sad- because it's real and honest. You do whatever you need to do 🙂