First of all, a HUGE thank you to all of you that commented on my last post re: the dating world in your mid to late twenties. I learned a lot from what each of you wrote, and I am just so thankful that I have such awesome individuals that read my blog!
Second point of business for today. I disabled my Facebook account! What whaaaaat!
Now before I go making any promises, I am just trying this on for size. I am attempting to better my life and rid it of toxicity and negativity, and as stupid as this may sound, I think that lately my Facebook account has become a nuisance. Told you that was gonna sound stupid. I know, I know. It’s a website, get over it. But bear with me please.
I know most everyone loves Facebook, right? I don’t blame you in the least. It’s amazing at keeping old and new connections alive. When I first joined FB several years ago, I was in graduate school. I loved the old site, in its rudimentary form, especially because it wasn’t prone to making me, my friends, my friends’ friends, and my friends’ friends’ friends into internet STALKERS.
Today I am not very active on the site, but every time I am on it, I feel like I get sucked into scanning people’s profiles and generally wasting time. Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that some of my “friends” (i.e. people I should’ve deleted awhile ago) use it as a forum to brag 24/7? (I mean, really, I’m happy that you have a perfect life and all. But in my opinion, if your husband really is the bestest, most handsome, most wonderful, most unbelievably fantastic husband in the whole wide world [direct quote], then why do you feel the need to go on Facebook all the time announcing it? Lame.)
See what I mean? I am already heading down a road of negativity. Back it up…happy thoughts, deep yoga breaths, happy thoughts.
I have concluded that my relationship with Facebook has become entirely too complicated, and that it’s just not fun anymore.
I will definitely miss checking up on friends, and reading when people have exciting things going on in their lives (i.e. engagements, baby announcements, etc.), but I think I will live. And, you know what? If these people are significant enough figures in my life, I will hear about the good news the old fashioned ways; from them or through the grapevine.
So there you have it. An indefinite commitment to avoiding Facebook. Anyone else have a weird, love/hate relationship with a website like Facebook?
Anyone?
Hellooooooo….
P.S. If you are my Facebook friend, and suddenly see me pop back on in the future, please refrain from pointing and laughing at my weak ass…and feel free to pretend this post was never written. Thanks! 🙂
Anne
I have been feeling the exact same way for a long time. I've been on Facebook since 2004, and I agree, the new, jazzed up version just feels like one big advertisement as well as being a forum for online stalking.
Kudos to you for deleting your profile! I'm heading down the same path.
momentspassslow
I have been meaning to do this for a while – but I can't just get my act together and do it. Like Anne, I've had facebook since the earliest of days and it was SO much better before. Now it's full of couples who love love love each other and my aunts and uncles – scary!
MayLove
I did the EXACT same thing!!!!!!!!! I found FB caused me to have a very short fuse, and I was very very very tempted (and in at least one case succumbed) to pointing out to people how stupid/annoying/lame they were, and I it hurt my brain to read their posts. It was also way too big a part of my life, and I found myself really pathetic that I was so addicted. Of course, as you mentioned, it was a HUGE black hole of wasted time. So yea, I banned myself from it for MONTHS, and that is when I started blogging. It started as an outlet to release all the pent up things I was too "polite" to say on FB, but it has morphed into something far more healthy- I have always loved to write, and this has been a really good opportunity for me. I didn't have the balls to cancel my FB account, so yea I am pretty much back to it, but I deleted all the "friends" who annoyed the piss out of me, and only kept the ones who I really truly wanted to keep in touch with, and though I still waste way too much time on there I'm happy to say I'm not nearly as pathetic as I used to be.
That is a REALLY long way of saying, you are NOT crazy for doing this, and you are NOT alone in it. Good luck! Congrats!
MayLove
P.S. Yea, when your parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/boss/city's municipal band, etc are on FB, and want to be your BFF- then it's really "jumped the shark", and time for us to "jump ship." LOL
Michelle
I thought about deleting my account but it is also the only way I can keep in touch with some people.. so I just deleted the annoying people and if your worried they will be mad you can block them and they will never even know your still on facebook… my list went from about 250 people to 50. I just realised that alot of people that were on there I only added because they requested me… not because I thought we were real friends… heck I even deleted people who did endless quizes and applications stuff that would fill up my newsfeed! I feel much better about my facebook now then I ever did when I had 250+ on it!
M and C
I go back and forth about it. I had resigned myself to only updating about our blog but then the Hubbie has a huge show coming up and it was the easiest way to promote it which I'm guilty of never doing. I may crawl back into my hole soon and see how long I can get away with it. I have managed to avoid Twitter completely though.
You'll be fine. After a few weeks you won't even remember it existed.
Cathleya
I was very reluctant to join for all of the reasons you mentioned above, but I'm surprised at the restraint I've had from going there. I think it's because after a while I accepted "friends" (like family friends/old clients) that I really didn't want to know what I was really thinking/doing… because it's unprofessional or because I don't want my family to know gory details of my personal life, so in the end I probably sign on once every couple weeks (basically when someone tags me in the picture and I want to go see what it is).
I could definitely live without facebook but it doesn't impede with my life too much so I keep my page up. I don't get any joy/fun out of facebook though.
Now, next, to kill twitter… 🙂
Geek in Heels
I did the same thing back in January and when I blogged about it, I got some mixed reactions (such as the one person who said that it's my fault for letting FB effect my life so much so FB is better off without me).
I quit for the same reasons you stated, and more. And I think that you picked a perfect time to quit, with all the additional violation of privacy that FB has imposed on its users just in the past week.
I must admit that I do miss FB sometimes and I get very tempted to return. And with the baby on the way, I might just reactivate my account just so my close friends and family have easy access to the baby updates and pictures.
But for now, I keep my account deactivated and am happy about the decision I made.
Sandy
I've never been on facebook and don't plan on it. I think a lot of people use it to keep in touch or find lost friends, but I wouldn't be able to stand the annoying people who use it to brag about themselves and make themselves feel like they have a lot of friends. I would rather focus my time and energy in making real life friends…just like your post about dating in your mid/late twenties, it's hard to find good friendships that go beyond the superficial as you get older.
Heidi
I've thrown the idea around too, but as of now, I'm keeping it. Since we live so far away from most of our friends and family, its great to keep up with everyone. I don't mind being friends with my relatives, but I definitely don't say a lot on FB now that more of my extended family has joined. Which is ok too!
Zeus' Mom
I deactivated my account for the exact same reasons you listed (could not stand the bragging!) and more (for online privacy issues and because I wish I never knew my friends' political opinions). Doesn't it feel great to be free? It really was so awesome back in the day.
Love your blog!
{all things tickled pink}
Hi there! I just found your blog and let me tell you…I love it!
This topic hits close to home. I deleted my account a little longer than a yaar ago, and let me tell you, it's been the best thing I've done! As I read your entry I could relate to EVERYTHING you said. FB became a very negative factor in my life. Now, a year and some later I can tell you that I'm not missing out on anything, my close friends send me emails because they know I dont have FB and the poeple that care keep in touch regardless.
Now, as for those negative individuals that I, for some reason, kept postponing deleting them, I feel a better person for not having them in my life.
So congrats and enjoy this new chapter, the minus FB chapter 🙂
Mavi
P.S New follower BTW!
brooke @ claremont road
You have more strength than I!
I have gotten in the habit of "hiding" people from my feed after all they do is complain/brag/try to sell me something. Technically, we're still "Friends" in Facebook terms, but I don't have to see them plastered all of my feed 🙂 It has made it a much more pleasant experience! So, if you DO get sucked back in at some point (I would not fault you for doing so!), maybe you can just hide the negative nellies or people that get you riled up.
brooke @ claremont road
(all *over* my feed…. d'oh.)
Krista
I hope I'm not the one who "brags" on FB! I put the odd random comment (b/c I really do have the cutest little dog), but I try not to put "my husband is the bestest" on FB to show off.
If I get sick of people, I just click so their updates don't show up for me anymore.
You're right, though, FB has made us all into stalkers. Recently, some idiotic friends of mine posted on FB that they were going to Disney World. Um, I'm tempted to break into their house to teach them NOT to announce they have left an empty house alone for 2 weeks!
For the reasons you said (and others!) I completely respect your decision. Good luck staying away / sticking with it!
🙂
Wifey Wiferson
I think this is a great idea! I have really cut down on my use of facebook. I think I use it more as an extended address book of contacts, in case I am say, going on a weekend trip to another city and want to connect with an old friend there who I might not have the most up to date information on. I really try to stay away from using it as a soap opera every day. That is not so hard when the newsfeed seems to be mostly taken up with people's imaginary barnyards and whatnot.
Peggy
Hello from an quiet fan from Toronto. I discovered your blog through Kasia Fink's blog, which I discovered through Weddingbee. Anyway, like you, I have this "thing" with FB. I am a teacher and FB bullying is huge in my school and most recently, I found that adults like to bully, too, just on a subtler level. I've been thinking about cancelling my account but there is always a lingering feeling that stops me. Maybe I'll try it. If you're up to it, visit my blog: lovelifeluk.blogspot.com.
Anonymous
What is so wrong with someone being happy with their life and wanting to state it?
thelessthandomesticgoddess
Thank you everyone for your comments. It's just nice to know that others have considered disabling their accounts, too.
@all things tickled pink: Thank you for the words of encouragement! I'm glad that it turned out to be a positive experience for you. And thanks for becoming a follower! I love new blog friends 🙂
@Krista: Of course it's not you! I don't think there is anything wrong with people being happy and sharing it. You do have the cutest dog ever! 🙂 It's the constant bragging that can be a bit overkill. But no, you've never been "that person" EVER EVER EVER.
@Peggy: Hi there! Welcome! I can't imagine what kids go through these days with the internet. The whole issue of cyber-bullying makes me really sad.