sourceAs I was being wheeled out of the surgery center last week, the nurse handed me a brown paper bag filled with bottles of pills (for my pain), and a somewhat familiar pack of little pills.THE Pill. Before my surgery, my doctor had explained that the Pill might be a very good way of helping balance my hormones. I was on BC pills about four years ago. Everything was generally fine, except they caused me to get chronic urinary tract infections. So I stopped taking them, and poof! No more UTIs. So I dropped the Pill like a bad habit. According to my doctor, my condition (a.k.a. the reason I had surgery) is presenting me with an interesting ultimatum: start taking the Pill or start trying to conceive. If I don’t choose one of the two, it’s like inviting surgery into my life all over again.Wow.It’s not like L and I haven’t thought about when to have kids. Of course we have. We’ve discussed the pros and cons of when to start trying. We’ve talked about the financial aspects. Over-thought. Over-analyzed. Over-talked. But I guess, in my head, the dream was a bit more romanticized than today’s reality. I can’t pinpoint what it is. The feeling of being out of control. The worry that when we start officially “trying”, what if nothing happens? The excitement that we could be on our road to starting a family. The wonder of how life, marriage, and career will change if/when we have kids? Perhaps all of the above.Some people might say, “If you are feeling any bit of hesitancy, that’s your gut telling you that you aren’t ready yet.” Well, that doesn’t really apply to me because I’ve known for a long time that I want kids. But I still have the nervousness and reservations.Crazy to think just a few years ago, the biggest life decision was something like, get a job or go to graduate school. Although it was a very important step, this feels like a whole new level.We haven’t officially decided which path we will take yet. But honestly, is anyone ever really ready? I think I’ll pull the covers over my head and over-think things a bit more.
Kasia Fink
I think the ones who are really ready (like, really, really ready) haven't asked enough questions to get to the ones that have no answers. It seems to me you have… hence the (totally natural!) nervousness. 😉
Sugar
Wow, this post really impressed me. You've been put in a tough position and I'd crawl right into bed too if I were you. That said, you have one great head on your sholders, but there's a chance that this decision might also need to be made by your heart. Good luck deciding and keep us updated.
Cheap Wife
I think what you are feeling is totally normal. All my freinds who have kids tell me "if you wait until you are ready…you will never have kids. You are never 100% ready. No one is"
I am not sure how much I believe this….but it makes sense. I have ALWAYS wanted to have kids…but at the same time is really scares me. Its a HUGE step. And like you said..what if you try and it doesn't happen? What if it does??
I think it is normal to have these feelings when considering a huge transition in your life. I think the fear is normal and it just keeps you on your toes. 😉
can't wait to see what you decide.
I have to graduate school 1st…so I have 2 years until I have to deal with the "choice". For now the choice has been made for me: we are waiting
Krista
… There's a difference between wanting kids and knowing you're ready.
But ask yourself if you weren't faced with these two options, would you want kids right now?
And what are the repercussions if you don't become pregnant right away? (That might be a question for the doctor, not for you.)
Answer those questions (especially the last question) to guide you.
My Dream Ring
That is alot to think about. Would your body be ready to conceive after having surgery not so long ago? Also children are precious and a joy to have but a HUGE responsibility that will change your life like you wouldn't believe. You and your hubby have so much to think about and talk about.
MayLove
I've heard from so many people "You are never REALLY ready to have kids" (how can you be totally ready for something you've never done? or "If you wait until you're really ready to have kids, then you never will." We're not so sure we ever want them, and not just because we're "not ready" (but that's a LOOONG story). Recently my fiance's mom told me "wait until you are REALLY ready to have kids because you can't give them back (she said this as we sat at McDonalds with my two future – and way out of control- nephews). We saw that as a really goods excuse to keep putting it off, and to get them off our back. Normally they are asking us when we are going to start popping out the seven granddaughters they expect from us (PPSSSSHHH! Nu-uh Keep dreamin'!) Good luck; it's a difficult decision, not to be taken lightly.