I am coming to the surface today to take a breath. Thank you all for your wonderful words of encouragement and love. They have meant so much to me during this time of uncertainty. I am so very, very lucky. When all I’ve wanted to do is mop around the house and fear the worst, I have had an amazing support system that has been lifting me through the roof with positivity and strength. They hold my hand, accompany me to doctors’ (yes, many doctors) appointments, and tell me “everything will be fine.”When all that keeps me up late into the night is the nagging question,”Will I be okay?”……it helps to know I have people rooting for me. If only my mom’s certainty or my husband’s kind words could be the cure-all, I wouldn’t be in this position to begin with! This whole ordeal started when I visited my regular doctor about some concerns I was having in regards to my menstrual cycle. I had an ultrasound performed, and when the results came back, my doctor kept spewing out words like “biopsy” “extensive” and “abnormal”. She scared the living daylights out of me.Hey, ever heard of BEDSIDE MANNER? No? Better ask somebody. I swear, I didn’t know whether to faint or karate chop her between the eyes. Ummm, I’m 28. Ummm, I’d like to have kids. Ummm, I’d like to…well…LIVE. What the F is going on?!?! I am still a bit in the dark as to what is “wrong” with me, but I do know more than I did after that horrific consultation with my regular doc. Those stirrups and that exam table (ladies, you know what I’m talkin’ about) feel like they have become my second home. Poking, prodding, pinching, cramping…all words that have become my tortured hobbies. But it’s funny – when your health could be in jeopardy – you grit your teeth, pull your shit together, and do what you have to do. The discomfort has been high, the actual pain not bad. My favorite one liner of the past few weeks was said by my radiologist, “Ok, so, this is going to hurt.” Thanks for the warning! I’ll sit here in anticipation waiting for my vagina to drop out from underneath me. Do you mind catching it when it falls? (Luckily, what he said would hurt wasn’t so bad. Whew!) Anyway, I just recently met with a specialist, and the next course of action is minor surgery at the end of October. I like this doctor. I feel comfortable and confident that he is a master of his craft. After surgery, I will truly know what the dealio is. But for now, it’s more of the waiting game. I figured that while I’m stuck in limbo, I might as well get back into the habit of living my life. There is so much you miss when you are paralyzed by fear, doubt, and the unknown. I’m learning to deal with it one day at a time.