I couldn’t be more excited and grateful that guests are responding to our invites and sending in their RSVPs in a timely manner. In the past, I admit to some bad RSVP behavior such as sending it in right at the deadline or after. I think once I even forgot to send one back all together, and had to email my response to the bride-to-be. Terrible!! I was in college, and absent-minded…but still, no excuse.

Now that I am on the receiving end of the RSVPs, I have been bothered by something. It’s such a small thing and I know I shouldn’t particularly care, but it has been mildly upsetting to me when guests have declined the invitation by simply checking “no”. It’s less about the guest’s decline, and more that they didn’t care to write anything else. I’m not asking for a two page manifesto outlining their reasons for missing the wedding. But, it wouldn’t hurt anyone to write, “Congratulations” or “Sorry we will miss it, but thanks anyway” or “Glad we won’t be attending your wretched affair.” 🙂 I know I am being overly sensitive and maybe too touchy, but, to me, it feels kinda rude. It’s the equivalent of asking someone in person if they’d like to attend your wedding, and them responding with “no” and just walking away.

I am so glad to learn these lessons through experience. I have yet to decline a wedding invitation, but I know now that I will never decline without writing a thoughtful message to the couple getting married, regardless of my reasons for not attending.

Do you consider certain RSVP-related situations to be rude or in bad taste? Were you surprised at yourself for caring?

May 27, 2009



  1. My Dream Ring

    May 26, 2009

    I have not crossed this bridge yet but I’m sure something about the RSVP’s will drive me insane. We’ll have to see.

  2. Blablover5

    May 26, 2009

    I think we had maybe 3 people write why they would not be attending on the RSVP’s.

    But that was icing on the cake for me. Hell practicaly my entire side didn’t show up and they couldn’t be bothered to mail in RSVP’s. Instead my mother had to call them all.

  3. thelessthandomesticgoddess

    May 26, 2009

    @Jeana: I wish you luck with your invitations and RSVPs! I complain, but it’s still a lot of FUN! 🙂

    @Blablover5: Seriously? That stinks that your side of the family didn’t show nor RSVP! What the heck?! I know I’m being touchy. Actually, we are missing half of our RSVPs and the official deadline is the end of this week. So, I may be on the phone a lot. :0

  4. -J.Darling

    May 27, 2009

    Maybe these people will surprise you by sending a card or gift later?

    I’ve always written the options for my event so I don’t feel so bad. Something like, “We look forward to attending.” or “Regretfully, we will be unable to attend your event.” It seems a little less of a rejection when it’s done nicely. 😉

  5. -J.Darling

    May 27, 2009

    Oh yeah! And calling people is a GREAT task to relagate to your bridal party! 🙂 You don’t have to deal with people’s excuses, and they still get the reminder. 😉

  6. thelessthandomesticgoddess

    May 27, 2009

    @J. Darling: I think you are the world’s most thoughtful wedding guest! Seriously. You put so much love and positive energy into the decisions you make as a guest. Your friends and loved ones are lucky people 🙂

  7. Krista

    May 27, 2009

    Hey … we had one guest decline, who I thought would attend. It was a great aunt to whom I was very close as a child. And all she did was check the box saying “will be there in spirit”!

    That was a few weeks ago… and today, we got a lovely card AND a surprisingly generous gift from her in the mail.

    So, some people surprise you!

  8. LauraAnn

    May 28, 2009

    We haven’t sent out our invites yet but I am sure that I will have the same reaction. My biggest fear is that I won’t get the RSVP’s back from people, such has FH’s frat brothers.

  9. thelessthandomesticgoddess

    May 28, 2009

    @Krista: Good to see you around here! 🙂 You’ve been missed. Thanks for your comment. It made me feel better.

    @LauraAnn: Umm, your fear is a real fear! Our RSVP deadline is tomorrow, and we still haven’t gotten back a big group of RSVPs. It happens. I’m just hoping most of them will roll in today, tomorrow, and maybe Monday. Oh the suspense!! 🙂

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