**Disclaimer: This post is food for thought. I enjoy romantic comedies just as much as the next girl. I didn’t write the post to dissuade readers from watching the new movie. I wrote it for other reasons that will become more apparent if/when you read the post 🙂 **

I’ve watched the Sex and the City episode dozens of times. Berger gives Miranda dating advice that changes her outlook on love: “He’s just not that into you”. Instead of trying to read mixed messages, grown women are supposed to avoid torturing themselves and own up to the fact that the guy probably isn’t interested in them. After Sex and the City, there was an entire book written about this subject. Now there’s a big Hollywood movie about the book. Great.

I haven’t read the book and obviously haven’t seen the movie (it hasn’t come out yet), but I chuckle a bit at this idea, “He’s just not that into you”. First of all, I dislike the assumption that all women are so energetically committed to figuring out what a guy wants, what he needs, and why he hasn’t called. I’m sorry, but its just not true. Of course we value relationships. Of course we want (or sometimes need) to talk about significant others and dating. But, if I made it my life’s goal to go around debunking myths and testing theories about male behavior, you have my permission to shoot me. Secondly, this concept seems like just another excuse to paint women as marriage hungry, commitment nazis that mostly exist to pin down commitment phobic men. Third (and my reason for writing this post), in my personal experience, having had many guy friends, I feel a lot of men need to be told, “SHE’s just not that into you.”

I read this cheesy line from Publishers Weekly that reviewed the book that stated, “If you’re not convinced yet, by all means read this smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat little book, full of q’s and a’s covering every excuse woman has ever made to avoid admitting to herself that a man just wasn’t that smitten with her.”

Society and Hollywood think women lie to themselves about men’s intentions? Puhleese. Guys are just as bad or worse.

We’ve all known “that guy”. The bitter single guy who (a) sets his sights on the “hottest”/most unattainable girl in the room then gets angry when rejected (b) has called a girl a “tease” (or worse) for never calling him back or supposedly leading him on, or (c) makes up tall tales about how women are evil for whatever reason he deems worthy.

I recall this one time that a guy pursued me to no end. We went out once and had zero chemistry. I didn’t know how to politely tell him to go away, so I kept giving him excuses as to why I couldn’t go out with him. It ended uncomfortably and I think he called me a “snob”. Hey, buddy, I’m not a snob. I just didn’t want to go out with you!

I wish that guy would’ve had a nice guy friend that could’ve just told him, “She’s just not that into you.”

So my point: it goes both ways. Maybe I will write a book about all of the excuses that men come up with when women reject them. I’m guessing they wouldn’t think it was too funny. 🙂