I managed to live to see the other side of Mother’s Day despite my causing quite the scene about it (see previous post).

I pulled myself out of “the funk” by taking my mom and grandma out to a fancy afternoon tea at the Biltmore. Many moons ago, L and I got married at the Biltmore. Turns out it is not only a fairy tale place to get married, they also put together a pretty sweet spread most afternoons with little chicken salad sandwiches, scones, mint tea, the whole nine yards. My mom, grammy, and I loved it!

My mom, grammy, and me. You haven’t seen my hair in awhile. I keep telling myself it’s in a “transition phase”. Truth be told, I haven’t cut it in like five months, and I’m growing out my bangs for the 800th time which has been a royal pain in the  arse.

If you are ever in L.A., and have time to get pampered with tea and cookies, go to the Biltmore. It was the best way EVER to celebrate the two most important women in my life. We even saw a bride taking pre-wedding photos. I felt a rush of adrenaline and wedding day memories flooded back. I saw that nervous look in the bride’s eyes, and I was delighted to play the spectator this time around. My bridal moment has passed.

After we were done pretending to be ladies who lunches, I said goodbye to mom and grammy, and met L in the hotel bar. We reminisced about our crazy wedding (almost three years ago!) over a dirty martini (him) and a glass of pinot noir (me). It was such a great memory that was promptly buried by the never-ending shit storm of my health problems, surgeries, financial woes, family issues, mental breakdowns, and our infertility. There has been a lot of sadness, anger, frustration, setbacks, and utter chaos. We have gone to bed many nights wondering when or if life would ever get better. Will we survive another day? Why did our new marriage get dealt so many blows?

So many questions. So many battle wounds. But we’re still here, and we are learning that it does get better.

Once upon a time we got married, and it was amazing. We can finally truly appreciate that for what it is. I’m feeling so giddy, I may just break out that extended wedding video footage we never watched.

Ok, nevermind. Ask me again in another three years.

May 24, 2012



  1. Reply


    May 16, 2012

    Beautiful women!

    Your Mother's Day sounds amazing and I LOVE how your hair is growing out. Def not an ugly transition phase (it doesn't even look like a transition phase!!)

    Have a wonderful week my friend <3

  2. Reply


    May 16, 2012

    your mom and grandma are so lovely – I can see where you get your beauty and grace!

  3. Reply


    May 16, 2012

    Sounds like a wonderful day …and what a wonderful place to get married! I used to live in Pasadena and have been to that hotel for events several times. And I think your hair looks adorable.

  4. Reply


    May 17, 2012

    You three ladies are BEAUTIFUL. Your bangs look amazing too so don't even worry about that. πŸ™‚

    I'm so sorry about your infertility. We have been having problems too and I go in for surgery next month. It's a horrible feeling and I know you've been struggling with it for so long. I am sending some serious HUGE hugs from Shanghai to you. XO

  5. Reply

    honey my heart

    May 17, 2012

    mothers day sounds like a good time with those who love you. glad that you had a good day carly!

  6. Reply


    May 18, 2012

    I never knew about this! What a fun thing to do some time. Sorry if it's too blunt to ask, but is it affordable?

    *PS all you ladies are so lovely! Nice genetics! :o)

  7. Reply

    Stephanie Hain Torres

    May 20, 2012

    Such a beautiful family! And I seriously love your hair, even if it's in a transition phase!

  8. Reply


    May 21, 2012

    Thanks, ladies, for your sweet comments! You have made me feel MUCH better about my hair!! Hahaha πŸ™‚

    @Alyssa: We paid about $30 per person. So, it can get pricey. It's definitely an indulgence. πŸ™‚ Here's a link to the details and more pricing info: http://www.millenniumhotels.com/millenniumlosangeles/restaurant/rendezvouscourt.html

  9. Reply


    May 22, 2012

    You and your family are so gorgeous! And I love your hair too… as I stare loathingly at my split ends

  10. Reply


    May 25, 2012

    Sounds like a MARVELOUS day! That tea sounds delicious and I'm so glad to hear you were able to pull out of your funk and focus on the wonderful ladies in your life. I know how hard that can be!
    And what a great place to do it all and to get nostalgic!
    If it's any consolation, my parents dealt with very similiar things you guys are going through. Infertility (only my mom was YOUNGER and was able to get pregnant in her teens – gave the baby up for adoption at the time, and when she married my dad, she made herself sick on fertility drugs, and in the end, it turned out that my brother and I were ment to be part of the family, just not the way they had planned), financial problems (they worked opposite shifts most of the first 3 years), and all of that.

    This year, they'll be celebrating 41 years together August 14th – and I'd have to say, when it's all said and done, there were more happy times than sad times.

    Tough times are never as tough when you're not alone. πŸ™‚

  11. Reply


    May 25, 2012

    Oh – and you are totally rockin' that short hair! πŸ™‚