I have read numerous board posts on Weddingbee about wedding guests and who gets a plus one and who doesn’t. Mrs. Jasmine even wrote her own post about this very subject. Here is my take on it.

Some brides have the plus one down to a science. Something like this:

Allowable Plus Ones – Married couples or significant others who have been dating for 12 months or more. By “dating” this means they have had been on more than 25 consecutive Friday night dinner dates with one another and/or have slept over one another’s places at least 50 times. In addition, you (as the bride and groom) both must have met this alleged significant other no less than 20 times in mixed company.

I’m kidding! Every couple has to make up their own rules about this situation. I get that. But seriously, what is it that makes brides go bananas over plus ones?

Mr. G and I have been working on our wedding guest list, and we have been faced with the plus one conundrum. But, we’ve decided we need to breathe and relax. Whether second cousin, Jim, gets a plus one or not is not the end of the world.

Here are a few things I have jotted down to keep some perspective. (These tips, in no way, are endorsed by the Weddingbee community. They are all my own personal opinion.)

1) No one over the age of 25 wants to show up to the wedding by themselves or (even worse) accompanied by their parents! Just think about it. Would you want to be 30 years old with your mom as your date?

2) If you disapprove of a friend’s significant other and therefore are considering not allowing your friend a plus one, think twice. Honestly, just because you are getting married doesn’t make you the relationship police. If you have that much of a problem with the situation, don’t invite your friend because the whole situation will just cause grief.

3) If you are having a destination wedding or a wedding where many will have to travel far distances, please make your plus one rules very clear. People will usually assume that they can bring someone with them in these situations. If you have certain rules to your destination wedding game plan, share them on your Save the Date or write it clearly in an email to guests. If guests ignore your written instructions then logically that gives you permission to verbally assault or publicly humiliate them.

4) Participants in your wedding party should absolutely be allowed a plus one. They are doing you a favor by standing up for you. Never deny your wedding court members a plus one.

5) If you are so upset by the fact that you have to pay X amount of dollars for so-and-so to eat and enjoy themselves…seriously, don’t invite them or their plus ones.

6) There are many people who have zero clue when it comes to wedding etiquette, guest lists, and plus ones. I should know. I was one of them. Until Weddingbee and other planning sites, I had no clue about the intricacies of the plus one. Lucky I know better now, but please try and be patient with the non-wedding planning community.

7) Having the option of a plus one is always a nice gesture. Most guests are not going to abuse their plus one powers and bring a one night stand. Some might, but most won’t. They might even surprise you, and decide against bringing a date. Who knows? Anything is possible.

Lastly, this post is meant to be fun. I know for some of you this is a serious concern. Add a little humor to the situation. I think it could help things a lot. 🙂



  1. AmyJean

    February 10, 2009

    No House, No spouse, No Ring… NO BRING!!!!!!! lol. That’s our motto and we’re sticking to it… (as best as we possibly can). LOL

  2. LauraAnn

    February 10, 2009

    I like the rules that you went by! Good post.

  3. Jenny

    February 10, 2009

    Well put AmyJean! Haha. That is basically our rule as well. We would like to allow everyone a plus one, however the facilities we have our hearts set on just don’t accommodate enough people. If every guest brought a plus one, we would have to change locations for both our reception and dessert party. We don’t mean to be greedy, we just don’t want to sacrifice our day.

  4. Krista

    February 11, 2009

    Offering the wedding party to bring a +1 is nice, but what if they’re not dating anyone? Do you give them the offer to bring a random person?

  5. Krista

    February 11, 2009

    Oh, and to answer your question: none of them had tried on dress #2 when you asked. I looked (briefly) for it at the bridal store when I was there, and I didn’t see it, so I gave up the idea of that dress.

  6. thelessthandomesticgoddess

    February 11, 2009

    @Krista: I am just of the mindset that the wedding party should be comfortable and happy. I don’t think I would advocate bringing a stranger or a random, but if they express they want to bring someone, who am I to tell them no? They are all my best friends and I wouldn’t have the heart to deny them a date, if that is what they wanted. We are having a big wedding, so I don’t have to worry as much about cutting off valuable guests for the sake of plus ones. But even if I did, my wedding court would still be a top priority. 🙂 That’s just me though.

  7. Mrs. Heartfixer to be

    March 3, 2009

    We are inviting everyone with their +1. We wouldn’t think of doing it another way. One guest actually told us he is coming alone.

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