Recently L and I had a conversation with some family members about text messaging. I was explaining something about our phone plan to them, and somehow it leaked out that we have unlimited text messaging. L’s cousin asked me why. I admitted that L and I text constantly throughout the day. We learned the hard way years ago, after getting an astronomical phone bill, that unlimited texting is a necessity.
The actual amount of messages exchanged between us depends on the flow of our day. If either of us is busy with work, we keep the texts to a minimum. BUT, if we aren’t particularly busy, we are in constant contact. We have always been this way.
Then L’s cousin’s husband scoffed at us, and divulged that he and his wife rarely text each other, if ever. I was a bit embarrassed. Are couples not supposed to keep in touch during the day? Is the need to be in constant contact reserved only for the lovey dovey beginning of a relationship? We have been together almost seven years, and while we dropped the honeymoon phase years ago, there is no waning in the text message department.
We do have one text rule: no fighting or bickering over text. That’s another thing we have learned the hard way. Text squabbles are usually riddled with misunderstandings, and they take forever. Not only does it take time to type out your response, the other person can take their sweet time responding or they don’t have to answer at all if they don’t feel like it. A recipe for disaster.
P.S. A couple of days ago I woke up and looked like this guy. Damn you, stye. Damn you! That’s why I didn’t post yesterday. It was a Quasimodo kind of day.
Little Acceb
We were just the same until we got iPhones, and now we email all day! It sounds kind of lame, but it's like that thing when you're in the pub, having separate conversations with different people, but your hands are still touching.
Plus, after a wisdom tooth infection landed me in intensive care last year, I feel totally justified in my "just checking in" rationale…
Excellent rule on no text squabbles – we should definitely stick to that one. Fights seem to be started by text, but always have to be finished in person – once cross words have been exchanged, only a physical hug can fix them.
Hope the stye gets better soon! xx
momentspassslow
We are constantly connected via gchat while at work. We've always been an instant messaging couple … even way back in the days of AIM. I used to be very bored at work so I had a lot more time then he did to chat but now we're both equally busy so it's every few hours "hey how's it going" or if something bigger comes up we can easily get the others attention. We, too, made the rule of no fighting/bringing up big topic via instant message – just makes for hurt feelings and more stress on our already stressful jobs, that stuff is better left to be discussed in person!
Ashley
I constantly text my boyfriend! And when he forgets his phone or is inaccessible because of work, I feel like my right arm is cut off… it's strange, but I like it 🙂
Geek in Heels
We're the geeky couple we IM each other even when sitting on the same couch. So yes, both of us have unlimited texting and yes, we text/IM each other throughout the day. We personally see no problem with it — every couple is different and texting is just another form of communication! 😀
Koritsimou
Nonsense, we text and email all day. Why would you not be connected? It's like holding hands across the distance.
bookishbella
My husband and I gchat all day! It makes me happy and keeps us connected.
I definitely agree that squabbling should be banned from text or messenger, whether with spouse or with friends. It inevitably leads to misunderstandings.
Heidi
My hubby is too busy to text all day, but I wish he could! We do talk at least twice during the day. I see no problems with what your texting! Its just the new way of keeping in touch!
Megs
Me and my husband text each other constantly too. When we're not busy, its a full conversation, when we are busy, sometimes its just a blast saying "143" (our shorthand for I Love You).
I think having that contact throughout the day is an essential part of our relationship, same as our nightly "vent sessions" where my husband sits at the bar in the kitchen while I cook dinner and we gripe about our days. I love being so connected to my husband.
Cathleya
My husband doesn't use the internet during the day because he sees patients so we do text me a lot. He used to call me every day during lunch but I hate to admit it—it really frustrated me. A lot of the time my day is kind of frantic because there aren't enough posts on WB or something, and when someone breaks your conversation by chatting at me or calling me I kind of flip out because I think it takes me like 20 mins to get my brain back on track. So now he just txts me a lot instead which is nice because I can look at it when I feel like it and not that instant. (Because even though the phone calls kind of bothered me I still would never ignore a call from my husband.)
Krista
We don't text. But we will email and call back-and-forth a half dozen times a day. I also talk to my mom once or twice a day.
MERgetsMRSed
I was recently cut off from texting. We cut back our plan and I have to stick to less than 200 a month. Its really hard.
Katie
we talk very little throughout the day. Through out the school year, it doesn't seem necessary, because I work at the school he attends so we drive together, and have lunch together most days.
During the summer, we text a few times a day, a few times a week when things come up, but not unless there is a real reason to.
We each get 400 texts a month, and usually stay well within them.
E texts his best friend, and I text my sister much more than we text each other!
M and C
We don't text each other much. We used to when we lived in different cities. I think our communication via email and text has tapered down. He's busy teaching and I can be running in and out of meetings. I send him more emails than he does me but they are usually links to places we should go or things we need to buy.
From my perspective, I think we've cut down on the emails and texts because since I've been traveling a lot, we realize we don't need it as much. We go 3 weeks where we don't see each other, get to talk for 15 minutes twice and maybe get to send off an email a day so I think it's carried over into our non-travel life.
We did download PingChat for our iphones so we have an unlimited number of texts for free if we do go crazy one month. 🙂
honey my heart
we don't text through out the day, but keep in constant communication through IM since we are both in front of a computer all day. i send him links to blogs, he tells me funny stories. the conversation depends on our amount of work and we've also learned the hard way not to fight over IM. when away from our desk, we use bbm 🙂
Tova
My husband gets annoyed because I g-chat and text him simultaneously! But I think it is a sign of a strong relationship if after 7 years you can't stop communicating.
vhcarlson
We text ALL the time. My husband used to work in construction before he got his IT job right now and we texted all the time. Now though we IM. But if we weren't both at desks, it'd be texts. So don't be embarrassed!!!