This year has been full. Every parent says this, but my daughter is growing up too fast. She continues to be our everything. We moved across town. My grandpa’s health declined quickly and he eventually passed away in September. Our sweet pup, Emma, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had to be euthanized earlier this month. I know a lot of great things went on during 2015, but it is hard to ignore the profound sense of loss in my heart.
My chronic health issues have surfaced again, and I find myself pondering the next steps. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease awhile back, and I continue to struggle with endometriosis. I lost a ton of weight after my daughter was born, but lately I am dealing with some pesky weight gain. I kept chalking it up to too much snacking, minimal exercise, and entering my mid-30’s, but I’m thinking thyroid issues are somehow tied into it, too. I have increased my exercise and watched my diet, and the scale hasn’t moved. I’ve also had spotting and painful, long periods again. Hooray! I can’t wait to get my feet back in those gyno stirrups! – said no woman ever.
I am so grateful that 2015 was the year I found a great therapist, and I have been getting the mental and emotional support that I have so desperately needed for the past several years. My therapist has helped me crawl out of a hole of crippling anxiety and debilitating panic, and also helped me tackle a number of obstacles in my life. I have made some strides and look forward to continuing therapy in 2016.
It hasn’t been an easy year, by any means, but there have been so many good, happy moments. I am hoping to let go of all the petty stuff, and keep looking for the positive in the coming year. I need to prioritize my health (mental and physical), and be the best wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend I can be. I have dropped the ball a few times attempting to fulfill each of those roles in the past year, but it is what it is. I can only hope to forgive myself and strive to be better.