As indicated in my previous post, I am weening myself off the happy pills. I really wish I could stay on the happy pills forever, but it’s time.
Last Tuesday, I went down to half a pill. Today is Sunday. It’s only been FIVE DAYS?! What the…? It has felt like two weeks. I have read a lot online about coming off of Paxil, but arrogant me was like, “These people are weaning themselves off pretty hefty dosages. I should be fine because I don’t take much.”
It’s not all my fault. My doctor put these delusions in my head. She told me that I could stop cold turkey if I wanted to because no one feels the effects of Paxil unless you are taking 20 mg + anyway. She seemed so confident in her assertion, which is just silly when I think about it. Has she ever come off Paxil? Likely not. I should’ve asked her that; a question for next time perhaps. What if she’s like, “Yes, actually, I have come off Paxil before.” That would be awkward…
I have officially felt like shit since Tuesday. Nausea, dizziness, weird zaps/jolts in my head, a heavy head, mood swings, stomachaches, and fatigue. I feel like I have a constant hangover, and I’m simultaneously high. But not a good high. I wish it were a good high. Most of these feelings tend to manifest themselves from the time I wake up until the mid-afternoon. It’s like I have Paxil morning sickness. Then Disco Carly comes out at night, and I’m energized and can’t sleep until 2 a.m.
This only makes me wonder how I’ll be when I actually quit the drug for good. I’m hoping it won’t be too bad. I’m a busy girl, and I can’t sit around and wait weeks on end to feel better. Feeling like this just sucks. I can’t think of a better way to describe it.
I don’t know why I’m sharing this with you guys? I guess I want to paint a complete picture of my experiences. I shared how much it has helped me throughout the past number of months (which it has), but it’s not all fun and games. Taking any type of medication for an extended period of time usually has its not-so-great consequences, too.
One last update before I go. GUESS WHAT? I think we may have gotten rid of Dr. Dick! We have a consultation with someone new on Friday, and I am really hopeful that we can move forward with this new doctor. If not New Doc than someone else, because Dr. Dick really rubbed me the wrong way (no pun intended). Fingers crossed we have found someone we can trust.