I’m wondering how this looks to the outside world. I’m appointing you guys my “outside world”, so let me know what you think, because I can’t make heads or tails of it.
L has become a regular at this local dive bar near our house. It’s a chill place where everybody knows your name, and the drinks are cheap. Sometimes L and I go together, but usually he goes with friends or a coworker. Since I’ve had health issues, I have mostly laid off the sauce, and don’t usually go to bars and clubs. I get cranky early and want to go home. I’m a really fun date. NOT.
L is a social person. He likes to get out, and be around other people all.the.time. Not sure why I’m sharing all of these details? I suppose I am setting the scene.
So he’s become a local at this bar, and now has a regular waitress. I had heard a few things about her from L in passing before we met. For instance, we happen to share the same name. WTF?! Random. She’s very young, bubbly, and an aspiring actress.
I ended up meeting the other Carly for the first time after one of our date nights months ago. L and I had gone to a nice dinner, and we grabbed a few drinks after. Meeting her was really awkward. I just kinda sat there with my thumb up my butt while she giggled and brought my husband free drinks. I was the third wheel on my own date. How cute.
Since then, I haven’t really involved myself in their little friendship. I’m not jealous, per se. I trust my husband completely. I even joke with L about it and tell him to say hi to his “lady” whenever I know he’ll probably see her at the bar. She’s just not my type of company. Not someone I would be girlfriends with. Not someone I have anything to say to, which is fine, because she’s my husband’s pal. Right? I don’t know.
The other thing that sorta bothers me is that I know that if it was the other way around, and I had a bartender that gave me free drinks, and laughed at all of my jokes, L would zap him with his laser stare until the guy never came around me again.
I don’t have guy friends. All of my guy friends hit the road after I got engaged. I have no desire to go out and get myself a bar boy. But then again, I’m shy and don’t generally strike up conversations with other men casually. So, to me, it’s kind of a difference in personalities, too. L is friendly. I’m not.
It’s not a trust thing. It’s an annoyance thing. Like when I see her, I kinda want to punt her across the bar type of annoyance.
Do I just continue as is and mostly ignore it? Would you be bothered? I don’t want to tell him who he can talk to. Aren’t we too old to be doing that shit? I mean, I’m a married woman.