(I started this post awhile ago, before I found out I would need surgery. There will be no two week wait for me for at least a couple of months, but for all of you TTC, maybe you can relate.)

This is a silly post about a little phenomenon known as the TWO WEEK WAIT. Just when you thought conception couldn’t get any more entertaining, you come face to face with the two week wait (TWW). For those of you who haven’t got a clue what I’m talking about, after a woman ovulates, it is approximately 14 days until she will get her next period.

When you’re trying to have a baby that means you have two weeks of mystery before you know if you will be a mama or if you will be having a glass of Chardonnay. During this period of time, your mind can play all kinds of tricks on you. For me, often times, I was completely convinced I could feel things happening a day or two after conception was supposed to occur. Umm, that isn’t really possible. But in my warped world, it was.

Here are some of my embarrassingly paranoid moments that prove I could never be those women on TV who didn’t know they were pregnant.

1) I was constantly getting to second base with myself. Several days of squeezing the boobs and pinching the nips to check if anything was sore. Most websites and books will tell you that sore boobs are one of the first signs of pregnancy. I think I physically created sore boobs (and alienated coworkers) by squeezing my girls a lot.

2) Any little twinge, cramp, or “feeling” anywhere in the vicinity of my ovaries had me convinced “something was moving down there.” That something turned out to be menstrual cramps. Or maybe gas? Sex-ay.

3) I would drink a ton of water, forget that I drank the water, and then go to the bathroom “more than usual.” A symptom of early pregnancy is constant peeing, but not when you are drinking half your weight in water. When you’re drinking all of that water, constant peeing happens.

4) Crying easily. There were a few times that I sat in front of the TV whimpering over Hallmark channel movies that I thought, “Maybe the pregnancy hormones have begun?” But I’m always a sap, especially around the crimson tide. So again, just my imagination.

5) My skin’s breaking out! My hormones must be changing! Nope, just some PMS mixed with forgetting to wash your face before bed.

6) Spotting. I firmly believed it was “implantation bleeding” every single time. No dummy, it’s just your period about to land.

Common sense should tell a woman that missing her period is the first sign of pregnancy. Duh.

But I’m a head case. Also, googling early pregnancy symptoms is bad. Don’t do it. Chances are some alien woman got pregnant with an alien baby and had the same exact symptom you are having at the same exact moment you are having it. Google validates two week wait lunacy. It also validates internet stalking.

Trying to conceive will do weird things to you. If you never had to actually “try” at conception, look at all you missed out on! 😉

Anyone else become practically unrecognizable during the two week wait?



  1. shutterbugwife

    March 1, 2011

    In the beginning, I hated the TWW. I did the same things and it drive my husband nuts. Every day it was, "I think I'm pregnant" followed by crying and, "No, I bet I'm not."

    Now however, since I have pretty long cycles (I am currently on CD26 with no ovulation in sight) the TWW seems much easier. Compared to the unknown of, "When the hell am I going to ovluate??" the TWW goes by pretty quickly.

  2. Colleen C

    March 1, 2011

    I know I'm blessed to be beyond it now, but those TWWs were brutal. I am 100% with you on the boob attacking. Do yourself a favor, next time you want to google "signs of early pregnancy" google "signs of PMS" and BAM they will bring you to the same page. It's so not cool. Glad you're getting things all fixed up down there so that you can start rockin and rolling as soon as the doctor gives you the go ahead.

  3. Anonymous

    March 1, 2011

    I HAVE THE EXACT SAME PROBLEM. Every month I'm convinced I'm pregnant and am always surprised when my period shows. I used to be a sane person.

    Also, THANK YOU for your honesty and for sharing your journey. Most of my friends were one-shot wonders with their kiddos so it's nice to know that I'm not alone.

  4. completelyrandomsally

    March 1, 2011

    I'm so in this boat with you. It sucks. Every month I go find that glass of wine because I get myself so excited only to be let down…again. It's not a fun place to be.

  5. MayLove

    March 1, 2011

    I was the same way when we had a recent "scare." We're not TTC, and I was convinced I was pregnant, and that I KNEW the instant it happened. Yea… PMS and early pregnancy are way too similar. Another one of mother nature's cruel jokes.

  6. Sugar

    March 1, 2011

    Urg. This is why I am scared to TTC. I honestly think I will become a cray-cray women during the TWW.

  7. Geek in Heels

    March 1, 2011

    Yep, did everything you've listed. And add one more: buy a crapload of pregnancy tests and test yourself multiple times a day, every day, starting at 5dpo (even though you know it's much too early). I think I easily spent over $100 just on pregnancy tests during those TTC months.

    You guys are in my prayers. *hug*

  8. Matthew & Rachel Hughes

    March 1, 2011

    Yep, I was that crazy 2!! Yeah just forget about googleing anything. And even more importantly don't even open WebMD. Good luck with the surgery. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  9. honey my heart

    March 2, 2011

    i'm not at the point where my hubs and i are ttc, but i'm sure when we get to that point, i will be paranoid and convince myself that things are happening, even if they are not.

  10. ruthy ann

    March 2, 2011

    i'm nowhere near ready for kids yet…but this was some great insight into the future!

  11. thelessthandomesticgoddess

    March 2, 2011

    @shutterbugwife: Oh goodness! That is torture. Do you normally have longer cycles or is this a new phenomenon? Sending a ton of ovulation dust your way! 🙂

  12. Smile Steady

    March 10, 2011

    Ugh. I hear ya. What's funny is that I just finished a disappointing TWW and am currently sitting in a boiling hot bath, cheeks smeared with mascara, and an icy cold beer on the side of the tub. You are not alone.

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