I’m not sure what my problem is, but I seriously suck big monkey balls when it comes to Twitter. Let’s survey the evidence, shall we?

(a) About 60 percent of my followers aren’t legit. They’re spammers or wannabe porn stars or pervs.

(b) I login inconsistently. I always forget! Therefore, I’m that uncool kid at the high school lunch table who keeps trying to join in on the conversation, but no one is paying attention to them.

(c) I lack witty one liners. No one cares if “I’m sitting at my desk eating yogurt.”

(d) I must be following the wrong celebrities, because I get next to nothing out of following the ones I do. For the most part, they’re annoying. Maybe if they hired writers to write their Twitter scripts, they’d be more amusing. Now that could be a fun job…

But here are the positives:

(a) I learn things when I’m on Twitter. Whether it’s a link to an interesting article or something pop culture-related, there is always something new…and I like that.

(b) In the off-chance that I am consistently updating my account, I like “talking” with the people on my friends list. It’s much more satisfying than just commenting on their blogs.

(c) Those that are good at tweeting crack me up with their hilarious one liners. I aspire to be like them. Fat chance.

Anyway, that’s my little MTV special called “I Suck at Twitter”. Stay tuned for “True Life: My Mother-in-Law is A Looney Tune”.

If you read my blog, you know I’m not kidding.

Anyone a good tweeter? How do you do it?!



  1. Reply

    Pink Heli

    June 2, 2010

    Hah. I'm the same way. I get on there about once every two weeks, say a bunch of lame stuff, then log out and forget about anyone who might be trying to reply or hold a conversation with me. Fail.

  2. Reply


    June 2, 2010

    I'm not a good tweeter so I don't have any good advice. But honestly, no one I really follow is a good tweeter either. I don't really enjoy the medium for any other reason than finding out about good articles like you mentioned above. I hate reading other peoples' interactions with each other. It's like… don't you have email? I think because I tweet for work I like it less. I just feel like it's a dumb popularity contest where the more public conversations you can have with random people, the better. Yawn.

  3. Reply


    June 2, 2010

    I like twitter but I rarely tweet. I find all sorts of good info on it though-recipes, events, celebrity happenings.

  4. Reply

    Jessica [ frequently full ]

    June 2, 2010

    Oh my goodness, I think that the previous comment just summed up perfectly why I don't Twitter. Another acquaintance who twitters also described it as being quite cliquish. Pass. There are times that I want to "join the conversation" so to speak, but I can't get pass that high school feeling.

    I think I'll stick to commenting on blogs.

  5. Reply

    Geek in Heels

    June 2, 2010

    Because I am no longer on Facebook, I mostly use Twitter as a one-liner outlet, and to catch up (real-time) with my online buddies. I follow some celebrities here and there, but only the ones I find interesting and actually Tweet about stuff I want to know. I do participate in some public conversations, but I don't particularly like the ones that go on forever, because like Cathy said, why can't we just email? The same goes for Twitter's 140-character limit. If it can't be said in 140 characters, I much prefer email or a phone call.

  6. Reply


    June 3, 2010

    I'm terrible at Twitter too! And I'm amazed by the people who consistently can update their Twitter, Facebook, and Blogs while still working and doing activitities while they are updating each of their networks… I'm not worthy

  7. Reply


    June 3, 2010

    I love twitter and only stay caught up due to the fact that I can access it at work. If I'm not at work, Twitter doesn't get much attention. It works for me!

  8. Reply


    June 3, 2010

    @Pink Heli: We are totally twitter twins!
    @Cathleya: LOL. You are too funny, Pengy. I don't know what I'd do if my job required me to tweet. I'd probably still suck at it. You're a good tweeter though, despite disliking the medium πŸ™‚
    @Linda: I agree! It's a good source of info.
    @Jessica: It's so awkward when you haven't logged in for awhile!
    @Geek in Heels: I wish I had more real life friends who tweeted! None of mine know anything about Twitter. Haha!
    @Brandi: I know! That's one of my problems. I can't really tweet while I am at work!
    @Vanessa: I would probably be more consistent if I could go on at work. I wish!

  9. Reply

    Chic 'n Cheap Living

    June 6, 2010

    Haha, I think I'm ok at Twitter. I try to post deals and such and like to see what others are up to. My husband set up my blog to directly feed to Twitter. I remember finding out about my beloved Fit Flop sandals thru Twitter so there is good that can come out of it.

  10. Reply

    michelle @ blissful musings

    June 7, 2010

    I'm terrible at Twitter too, but I love following other fun people and finding awesome blogs and interesting posts. My own writing has something to be desired.