I’m not sure what my problem is, but I seriously suck big monkey balls when it comes to Twitter. Let’s survey the evidence, shall we?
(a) About 60 percent of my followers aren’t legit. They’re spammers or wannabe porn stars or pervs.
(b) I login inconsistently. I always forget! Therefore, I’m that uncool kid at the high school lunch table who keeps trying to join in on the conversation, but no one is paying attention to them.
(c) I lack witty one liners. No one cares if “I’m sitting at my desk eating yogurt.”
(d) I must be following the wrong celebrities, because I get next to nothing out of following the ones I do. For the most part, they’re annoying. Maybe if they hired writers to write their Twitter scripts, they’d be more amusing. Now that could be a fun job…
But here are the positives:
(a) I learn things when I’m on Twitter. Whether it’s a link to an interesting article or something pop culture-related, there is always something new…and I like that.
(b) In the off-chance that I am consistently updating my account, I like “talking” with the people on my friends list. It’s much more satisfying than just commenting on their blogs.
(c) Those that are good at tweeting crack me up with their hilarious one liners. I aspire to be like them. Fat chance.
Anyway, that’s my little MTV special called “I Suck at Twitter”. Stay tuned for “True Life: My Mother-in-Law is A Looney Tune”.
If you read my blog, you know I’m not kidding.